10 revelations from my first mastermind retreat

If there were two words I could use to describe the Wealthy Fempreneur mastermind retreat last weekend, it would be this:

Overwhelming and illuminating.

Now before you get your panties in a bunch about the negative connotation that comes with the word "overwhelm," let me explain.

The back story

I'm a private person. GASP.

As someone who writes blogs, sends out a weekly newsletter, shares her struggles and journey of freelancing and business ownership, and talks on Instagram all the time about social strategy, writing for engagement, and freelancing... you'd think the opposite.

Here's the distinction: I'm picky about what I share. You don't see everything. You see what I choose to share.

It isn't easy for me to open up. GASP AGAIN.

This isn't to say I'm not open, just that it takes a lot of effort to be vulnerable. It doesn't come naturally to me for people to see the ins and outs of my brain and especially how I FEEL.

So, heading to a house in Florida to be surrounded by 6 lovely women I've been opening myself up to online sounded exciting, but equally terrifying.

There's that fear of, "Shit... what if they don't like me in person? What if I don't get along as well with them IRL? What if I can't open up and be myself this weekend? WHAT IF I SUCK AND THEY'RE INCREDIBLE?!"

Thanks, anxiety. I see you, I hear you, and I choose to not listen to you.

The mastermind retreat

Let's get back to overwhelm.

I told you I'd clarify and I haven't really done that. So, here goes.

When I was at the retreat, I was overwhelmed...

With gratitude.

With empowerment.

With inspiration from seeing what's possible.

With the friendships I was making in such a short time.

With the love I felt.

With disbelief ("IS THIS REALLY MY LIFE?! Ok yeah, it is!")

With being felt, seen, and understood.

As someone who prides herself on having a super close-knit circle of friends, it was overwhelming to feel part of something bigger.

It was overwhelming to have my fears cracked open the second I met Alyssa at the terminal, Becky at the baggage claim, Amanda and Emma in the pick-up lane at the airport, and Julia and Jill when their Uber pulled up in front of our Airbnb.

The feelings of "What if this is awkward? What if they don't like me?" melted away when we met. Nearly all the other women have said this already but it needs repeating:

I wasn't sure how we'd all get along -- a group of 7 women in a house together all weekend -- but we came in as friends and left as sisters.

It felt safe. It felt comfortable. But also it felt expanding.

We broke through limiting beliefs. Smashed negative self-talk. Worked on our service suites, business finances, and ideal clients.

We also ate... a lot. And laughed. And talked. We talked about so much.

The illuminating part (remember that word from the beginning of this monstrous blog?) came from the lessons I was learning from talking to Alyssa and the other women at the mastermind retreat.

Lessons about business, about life, about myself.

Let's get into that...

Lessons learned

After telling you how I prefer to be private, here is me spilling my soul so you can take something valuable away from my experience. Since you weren't at the retreat and all.

I'm scared to open up as much as possible.

Ugh. Didn't really want to unpack that one but here I am, writing a blog about it in the hopes that my journey helps you with yours.

This mastermind retreat was a learning experience of what to expect from retreats, and friends, and business.

Basically, my standards are high AF now. This mastermind retreat was everything I could have ever hoped for. I learned more than I thought I would and I feel closer to becoming who I really am because, let's be honest, we're all trying to figure that out.

But more than that, I have new standards for my business.

No more charging $20/hour for something I learned how to do because I spent time, money, and energy on so I could do it quickly and amazingly for you.

No more questioning whether my services are needed. They are.

No more wondering if what I'm doing is "real." This came up SO much for me at the retreat and, if you're in the online space, I'm sure you can relate to the intangibility of your work.

I was able to do market research and get help from other business owners further along than myself to help me with pricing and rates.

Invaluable if you ask me.

And the last lesson I learned (arguably, the most important)?

I am capable of being around a group of women for 4 days and not need to "introvert" or get upset.

This one is big.

I always thought my introverted ass couldn't handle people. Turns out, I can't handle people I don't like.

LOL.

But really. When I got together with these women, there was no need for alone time. No need to get away. No need to regroup.

That's huge for me. Like when I tell you these women and I got along like we've known each other forever, I mean I was spilling my guts to Emma at the kitchen table Saturday AM (not even 24 hours after seeing her for the first time IRL).

That's something I've never done before. And that was a huge lesson in surrounding myself with humans that want the best for me and themselves.

Now, onto the revelations.

Revelations

If you're wondering whether I could have combined these two sections... you're right I could have. But I didn't. So, there ya go.

You know what you want to charge, but you can't charge it until it feels physically aligning/unless you align with that number on a deeper level.

Let me explain (should that be my tagline?).

It's easy for me to say "Oh yeah, this new 1:1 freelance consulting service I'm offering in 2020... that's $1,000."

That may be what I feel the service is worth -- I've spent the past few years DIYing my freelance career and now I'm packaging the lessons, the PDFs, and the knowledge I gained into something you can take away and feel confident going into the freelance world with -- but it's not what feels good to charge.

You'll know when the number is right.

When you feel you can get on a sales call and confidently tell someone, "Here is my service, this is the price," and then SHUT UP.

When you don't get bogged down by that ONE person who said your prices were "Outrageous! Why would anyone pay that much?"

It truly is 90% mindset.

It's all about me and simultaneously not about me at all.

I'm getting a feeling that this doesn't need to be explained.

If this resonates with you, take it.

If not, leave it.

Let's move on.

The labels we give ourselves aren't true all the time or forever.

This brings me back to my "introvert" label.

Just because I didn't feel the need to hide away this weekend doesn't mean I'm NOT an introvert.

Or maybe it means I'm moving past that label.

Either way, it's OK to let go of a past identity... for a little while or for forever.

Figure out what you want to do and do that.

The stories you tell yourself -- about what's possible or not -- are either assumptions or untrue.

You CAN do what you want AND get paid.

It may not look exactly how you planned or follow the same timeline as everyone else, but you can do what you want.

And you should. Always.

Feeling your feelings is different than saying you're feeling them.

We did a compliment circle at some point during the weekend and holy hell was that... illuminating.

Breathing into your feelings (which came out in the form of sobs followed by laughter about how I was sobbing so heavily) and asking yourself what's beneath the surface is what it means to feel them.

I wasn't sad about people complimenting me. I was moved that friends I had just met had such insightful, kind, and intense things to say about me.

It's scary to feel those feels. Especially good feelings. But when you sit with them and dig deeper, you really learn about yourself.

Being around other powerful women who own their shit (the good, the bad, the ugly) made me realize my own power.

It's still up to me to integrate that and watch how I speak to myself and about myself... but the awareness is there.

And so is the compassion.

Stepping away from the phone and being present is refreshing.

Sitting with other humans, chatting, enjoying where we are in life, lamenting over our struggles, and eating a shit ton of food with no shame was the reset I needed for the new year.

You just don't get the same connection online.

And that's what was so powerful about this mastermind retreat weekend.

The in-person connection.

The proximity to powerful fucking women.

The association with humans stepping into themselves.

It was a weekend I will never forget.

<3 <3 <3